You are hurt.
At least you are feeling one.
Hmm, after i see it from any and every angle.
Found out the reason for your pain.
Its nothing else but myself.
Haha.
Yes myself.

I caused you great number of pain didn't i?.
Telling this.
Telling that.
Wanting this.
Wanting that.
Basically i am forcing you.
And i know it very well that i shouldn't be.
Because loving is not something that we should force.
And that is something i already know.

I did all that, because i really felt we were special.
I felt we were more than that.
I felt i am ready about you.
I know you were the one.
And we should not be anything else but together.
For the first time in my life.
I actually wants something.
Not because i want to help it out.
Not because i want to be good and all.
But i wanted something to happen badly.
Because i feel that without you, my colors are gone.
Maybe you think i am exaggerating or something.
Well, i am not.

I met many ladies.
We create many relationships.
But never was i satisfied.
Because i felt none of them was real.
None of them made me feel the way i feel about you.

That is same reason i told you million times.
I just wanted us to be real.
I just want to have a normal relationship.
Where i love my girlfriend.
My girlfriend loves me.
Nothing else matters.

But no!.
You cant do that.
And sorry to say anything that hurts you.
But then helplessly.
Doubts is whats coming up my heads.
Doubt about you.
Doubt about us.
I dont know.
If you really love me.
No one else.
Then whats so hard about letting others fall?.
If you doubt me from the beginning until today.
Then why so much hope you've given me?.

These doubts are always at war at my head.
The 'Brain' part telling me its bad.
But the 'Heart' part telling me to trust you.
If you ever accused me on changing my words.
Its because of the war going on in my head.

You are talking about feeling hurt now.
What about me then?.
For more than three months i have been feeling this.
But no you can't change that right?.

I don't know anymore.
I guess after i read your blog.
I really know what you want from me.
You want me to use my 'Brain' and think here.
Screw my 'Heart' and whatever I wanted.
And yes, i am going to do that now.
I will use my 'Brain' more.
Understand the situation.
Understand you.

But with that.
I sadly announce.
That i know now.
That you are not the one.
But one of the.
You are no less than all the girls i use to know.
Where they want me to understand them.
But not wanting to do what i want them.
I thought you're different.
Because of what i had for you.
But it appears to be that i am wrong.
You are same.

Well.
This doesn't mean that i hate you or something.
I will still be the same.
Its just being the old me.
The difference is that.
I just want you the same way i want my other girls.
Nothing more.

I don't know if you are sad when you see this or something.
But you needed to know.
What i feel about us now.
Because i don't want to brake your heart later on.
And please, never blame me for anything.
It was all you who wanted.
You made me this way.

I loved you.